Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
