I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
