from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
