You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
