she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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