I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
