I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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