I hate all girls vehemently.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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