Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
