wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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