He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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