I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
