I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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