u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
