pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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