I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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