White coat. Heels.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
