At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
