For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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