you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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