I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
