Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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