Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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