ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
