Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
