even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize