It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
