My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
