Christians are straight up FREAKS
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
