its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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