I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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