so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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