Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You are the jesus of drinking
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize