every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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