Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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