I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
