I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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