Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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