is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
