these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
