i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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