last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
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