this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
