it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't put those talents on a resume
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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