come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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