six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
