it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
