My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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