ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
