I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
