I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
