who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
