I got chris browned last night
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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