there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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