just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
