Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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