Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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