Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
