Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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