We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
