It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
