should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
